Lavrov Reports to Putin G.O.P. “Group of Pansies” Jokes U.S. Takeover Easier Than Crimea. Satire

Lavrov reports to Putin
Sergey Lavrov reports to Vladimir Putin the G.O.P is a "Group of Pansies"

MOSCOW – Sergey Lavrov reported to Vladimir Putin that Mitch McConnell, Paul Ryan, and the rest of the Republican Party were a “Group of Pansies” and that the Russian takeover of the United States was near completion. “We tell Trump to fire Comey and he does it and they American Congress does nothing,” Lavrov joked. “McConnell and Ryan have no balls. Nancy Devos has bigger balls than them. U.S. takeover is easier than Crimea.”

Russia Offers Paul Ryan Free Spine Repair Surgery Upon Retirement

Putin said he appreciated Paul Ryan’s complete acquiescence to the Russian takeover of the United States Executive Branch and felt sorry the “man child” had such a weak spine. “We will give him free health care when he retires to show our appreciation,” Putin said. “We will fix that spine up and make him a good Russian some day. Today he looks like a scared boy and we understand that, but some day Mr. Ryan will be strong man like us.”