PALM BEACH, FL — A mysterious Sheik Hussein joined Trump’s Mar-a-Lago country club just a day after the President’s inauguration. Mar-a-Lago staff members say Sheik Hussein only shows up when President Trump is on site.
Sheik Hussein is the Life of the Party
“Sheik Hussein is awesome,” Anna, a club waitress said. “He’s always got a good story to tell and a funny joke. He’s met all of the world leaders and knows everything about Washington politics.”
Despite the Sheik’s friendliness, he has aroused suspicions. “The Sheik is never without his turban,” club bartender Alex said. “And he never takes those big sunglasses off. He does like his Guinness beer, though. Told me that he’s recently retired and now can have more than two beers without creating a scandal. So yeah, we’ve all been wondering what the Sheik’s real story is.”
Sheik Hussein Seen Milling About, Listening Through Doors
“I saw the Sheik — several of us have,” a cleaning staff member said. “He takes his empty beer glass and puts it against room doors and walls and tries to listen. Pretends he is drunk when spotted or maybe he really is. It’s a mystery, but he’s always hanging around the presidential suite that is for sure.”
Secret Service Unconcerned About Sheik Activities
A front desk staff member says the Sheik pays extra to have a room next to President Trump. “I thought that suspicious so I alerted Secret Service, but they didn’t seem too worried.
American Buffoons spoke to a Secret Service agent off the record. “The Sheik is harmless,” the agent said and then smiled wryly. “Besides we really like Obama.”
Golf Pro Says Sheik Hussein’s Swing and Scores Match Obama’s
Rumors have spread amongst the staff that the Shiek is really former President Obama and these rumors seem validated by the club golf pro, Gary Woodson. “I’ve watched the tapes of Obama playing golf. Obama’s swing matches the Shiek’s swing exactly,” said Gary. “That’s all I know.”
Yesterday a reporter for American Buffoons infiltrated Mar-a-Lago and confronted Sheik Hussein directly. “Are you President Obama?” the reporter asked. The Sheik smiled in that unmistakable Obama smile and didn’t say a word. “Do you think you can obtain enough evidence to bring down the Trump presidency?” the reporter asked. The Sheik smiled again, and then in a distinctly Obama voice said: “Yes we can!”