Budget Cuts: Trump Says White House Waitstaff Will Now Work For Tips. Satire

WASHINGTON DC – President Trump today citing the need to cut the budget further, said White House waitstaff members would now work for tips only. “It’s a huge opportunity for them,” Trump said. “With all the state banquets, foreign dignitaries and company CEO’s and whatnot, the White House waiters will make a fortune and the taxpayers will save money.”

Steve Bannon Says Cutting White House Salaries Will Help Pay for More Warheads

A pentagon spokesperson confirmed the cuts at the White House will help pay for improved nuclear warheads. “By these cuts, we will now be able to place a red safety ‘Do Not Touch’ sticker on every new warhead we manufacture.”

Waitstaff Unhappy to Work For Tips Only. Complain Trump a Poor Tipper

“Man, Trump only tips with quarters,” complained a waitstaff member who wished to be unnamed. “And sometimes he’ll leave only a slip of paper that says IOU .50 cents. It’s like he’s continually bankrupt.” Another waitstaff member agreed with his colleague’s assessment and said tips would be dismal under the Trump Administration. “The only people who we could even hope to tip us would be celebrities and no celebrity is ever going to visit this white house, maybe Kanye, but he doesn’t tip either. This policy would have worked much better under the Obama White House.”